These are the Alfred E Neuman quotes for the last 2 years (well most of them, in no particular order):

  • How is that a well rounded diet consists of 3 square meals
  • Most siblings wont share anything – except embarrassing stories about you
  • Too many people consider themselves open minded when they are really just empty headed
  • The problem with parents putting in their 2 cents is that they expect change
  • Everyday is a gift but good luck exchanging it if you dont like it
  • Why doesn’t time ever fly when you are stuck on an airplane
  • Vegetarians who back to eating meat have to start by eating crow
  • It’s funny how whenever your parents tel you to “think what you did worng” your answer is always the same – you got caught
  • How come the same parents who assure you that “its whats inside that counts” whine endlessly about the way you dress?
  • If you repeat the same grade you are a dummy – if you do it 20 times you are a teacher
  • Its funny how no one is ever so busy that they can’t find the time to complain about how busy they are
  • Many long time smokers end up having a coffin fit
  • Politicians are always trying to convince you that they can solve the unemployment problem if you” just give them a job
  • An arrested drunk is someone who got nailed for getting hammered
  • To be the member of the upper crust you need a lot of dough
  • Why is that when it comes to global warming most politicians get cold feet

Appearing on the back cover of a collection of MAD, Alfred has featured regularly on every cover of MAD, appearing with celebrities or in the guise of one. Almost every MAD has a a quote (like the one above) attributed to Alfred. Synonymous with idiocy, Alfreds quotes call the truth, pointing out what most of us would not want to talk out loud.

A lot of information is available http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_E._Neuman

Though the above is a source that MAD themselves have not shown much respect for.

Along with Sergio Aaragones, Don Martin (now extinct), SPY vs. SPY, spoofs by the usual gang of idiots, MAD provides excellent entertainment.

Which reminds me, I need to get a new subscription!